I was talking with a friend recently who is feeling crushed by her workload and can’t seem to get off the treadmill of 6 a.m. to 6 p.m. days chained to her desk, seemingly in perpetuity.
She asked me what tips I might have for her around time management. I’ll admit, the question surprised me. I’ve never thought of myself as someone with great time management skills, mostly because I tend to eschew rigid productivity systems, believing (erroneously or not) that they cramp creativity.
So I wondered why this friend thought I might have something to offer her. She cited the work I produce and the variety of lanes I swim in including storytelling and communications strategy, leadership coaching, Enneagram prison work, and theater.
It wasn’t until after we parted that it hit me. I don’t focus on time management, I focus on energy management. Somewhere along the way, I learned that the time something takes is secondary to energy. I would argue that you could work six hours on a task that gives you energy and feel fresh, revitalized, and ready for what’s next. Or, you could spend three hours on a draining and unfulfilling task and need to check out for the rest of the day.
From a productivity standpoint, I’m a fan of lists and getting things crossed off the list. But maturity has taught me that satisfaction comes not from crossing things off the list, but intentionality about what goes on the list. If everything on the list is an energy drain, how will it feel to get those things done?
Enneagram teacher Russ Hudson said something recently that blew the doors open for me on this concept. He spoke about the energy of frustration, but it could be applied to any default negative emotion. He said that frustration is an addictive emotion because it causes us to be adrenalized and stressed. I don’t like being frustrated, but if I’m honest, I can default to it if I’m not aware of what is going on. Seeing this as an addictive response is enlightening. More importantly, Hudson said, “Lifeforce gets trapped in frustration.” So that extensive energy I spend being frustrated is trapping life force energy that might be funneled toward more useful, productive, creative pursuits.
Thinking back to my friend’s plight, as well as that of many clients who live on an endless treadmill, there’s an interesting confluence of addictive hormones like adrenaline that are exacerbated, if not promoted, by hustle culture. And time management is often touted as the antidote to burnout and an enabler of surviving in hustle culture. I purport that over-indexing on time management sustains and perpetuates hustle culture.
I’d like to see a world where we’re less focused on squeezing every drop from the hours in our days and more focus on the energy we’re creating, using, and keeping within our days. How do we do that? It begins with awareness, discernment, and choices.
Awareness
Energy is not all equal. There are different types of energy. One type is frenetic and driven, while another is open, free, and vital. The latter is sustainable and can come from any activity that sits squarely in one’s sweet spot leaving us feeling powerful and more expansive after an activity. Coaching does this for me.
Discernment
Know which of your activities create which type of energy and opt for the ones that expand you. Know also which activities are a simple drain of energy. Organizing a closet or putting together a budget renders me cross-eyed, but others find those activities deeply satisfying and rejuvenating. It may not be possible to eliminate all of them, but time management is not the remedy for a calendar of energy-draining activities.
Choices and sacrifices
Choices are inevitable. We can’t do everything. But if we’re aware and discerning about what we say yes to and what we say no to based on the energy creation or depletion result, we at least have the chance of creating more energy and satisfaction.
And what do we do if we’ve tipped the scales into those negative energy-draining emotions? Hudson advises “presencing” them (making presence an active verb). Presencing means noticing the emotional hijack and breathing into it, seeing it, acknowledging it, and continuing to breathe into it.
If I become frustrated, my goal is to notice it, name it, and breathe into it. If I don’t do this, I’m on the path to an energy drain. Hudson likens presence to rocket fuel that fills one’s limbs with energy and light, getting you out of the story of what’s going on and into the energy of it. That harness of energy brings the creativity to do the next right thing.
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